finding work sucks...

but sketching does not. except when you stare too hard at the thing you're trying to draw and have really dry contacts.

so far, i suck at drawing but i think i'll get the hang of it again.

i'm gonna go research sketching now. cause i'm not up to sleeping yet.

why is it so hard to go to sleep? and get a job?

universe, give me a fucking job! or i'm gonna have to start flippin shit.

here's something to keep me hustlin'...

the faint//moving units//some dj//club nokia//aug 30th '09

All pictures courtesy of ::chita::

Wildfires & Throwback Thursdays!!!

why is everything burning?

there's Burning Man, Palos Verdes is burning, there are fires in the Angeles Nat'l Forrest...

if you're on the right side of things you probably think this is hell. and if you're on the other side you might think that this is global warming. or do you think it's the first indications of 2012 and the end of the mayan calendar?

Check out Marlena Shaw below...

my nose is so messed up from all this mess in the air.

Put those fires out...

built to spill // orgone // sunset junction

sunday morning

i'm listening to a tribe called quest. still fucking brilliant. its ispiring me to the core. they have a way with words ive never heard out of anyone. i'm downloading the pharcyde discography too. maybe q tip later. feeling like i'm resurrecting myself. i started smoking cigarettes again. not alot. but i have 2 packs of canadian cigarettes i want to smoke and i feel really guilty over it. but, i know what i'm doing. i decided to be honest about it cause yeah, why not be obvious about something. its kinda metaphorical to my life i guess. all this music brings back alot of good stuff and other stuff. but i embrace it. its the truth. my movement - the truth and experiencing reality in all of its shady layers of truth.

"whats an mc if he doesnt have stammer?" - a tribe called quest "what?"

aim convo

I have to start posting more of these pieces of aim converstaions. pure gold!
oh breakd0wne!

breakd0wne: whats ftsms?
LMAO
hahaha
haha ur fingers that fat eh?
lol
ur gonna have to use the tip of a carrot
when u type from now on
lols
me: lol!!!

Bummed? Or just hung over?

Kind of have a case of the Mondays, on a Friday. I went drinking last night with Evan and we got pretty drunk. I love going dancing. It's probably the one thing I like that's up there with sleeping. But there will be no dancing for me tonight. I cancelled and I feel bad there will be no Discotheque, but I need tonight to be as painless as possible. Especially since I threw up last night and this morning I had to tutor. It sucked being so tired, hungry, in pain, and still a little drunk. Can't believe I did that. Kinda unprofessional but I took it easy with the kid today.

Hunter S. Thompson doing what he did best. Besides journalism.

Photo courtesy of obit-mag.com (wow an online obituary?)

I told him we were relocating and we headed from the library over to a burger/mexican/everything restaurant. We ordered, sat down, and I asked him if he had come up with some brainstorming about the create your own movement project. Hunter S. Thompson is our hero in this discovery. We discussed Gonzo Journalism and how it became a movement. We got on to making a bubble connections chart and I asked him questions to get started because he didn't know where to start or what to make of this project. I'm pretty sure he knows I'm weird.

So, I tell him that every character on tv, in movies, cartoons, etc has specific qualities. Now, if we're those characters what qualities do we posess? I said what do you like to do? You seem pretty relaxed. The kid says, I like to go with the flow. I say, Ok, put flow down and put a circle around it. What's another thing? And we kept going back and forth thinking about qualities he has in himself that he might want to create a movement with. What a good idea. I didn't know I had it in me to create a project like that. At the end of the hour we were there sitting in the restaurant conversating and I looked at his bubble chart thingy where he wrote down ideas and I said you can make that into a poem. Well, it's kind of already a poem. And I asked him if he had ever written a poem or anything, ever. And he says no. Well, you have one right there, I said. He looked at me kind of like, cool, but like a weird huh agreement.

I lost the reason of why I'm talking about this. Oh yeah, I guess it was just something cool that happened today despite the hangover. We ended up going back to the library, plugged in the headphones into the computer, and watched flight of the conchords youtube videos for the rest of the hour. Fun. And I got paid today! But, I bought some Headband, so it's now a little less. But that's ok. It's a loss I'm willing to smoke! :) I guess the outcome of this whole blog was positive.

I ended up staying in bed all day smoking and watching the 1st season of this show "Party Down". It's great. I can't believe I finished a whole season. 2nd season isn't out yet. Now, to listen to the Jamiroquai discography...Jay Kay is so fucking hot.

I get by with a little help from my friends...

I'm just now realizing that I'm not honest enough. I mean, I'm honest, but not saying everything that's on my mind. So here's to honesty...Smokie's sleeping on my bed again getting baked. He's a voluntary stoner dog, don't worry. He knows why he's on my bed, passed out, all smug with his freedom and shit. He's probably dreaming of marmalade doggy fountains and sugar plum kitty cat chew toys. Maybe I'm just stoned. It's funny, Smokie comes up to me and puts his face inside the smoke cloud. That's why his name is so perfect. He chose his name, not us. LOL wow. Good herb. Smokie's snoring, hogging the bed, again. He needs to take a bath for real. His paws smell like Frito corn chips. Inappropriate doggy.

Now listening to "If You're Into It" and "Sellotape" By Flight Of The Conchords and watching "Cheer Up Murray" on Youtube.

B-day things.

So, I'm planning my birthday party here for all my friends to cohabituate under one roof, under one sky. The party's gotten alot of response that I didn't expect. People I haven't heard from in a long time are coming. People I didn't know would still talk to me are too. Lots of past stuff popping up. Tommy can't make it. Bummed, but what did I expect? It's weird, I was watching this movie online *Netflix* and had flashbacks from the last 5 years. Mind you, the last 5 years has involved lots of music, experimentation, and people. And has involved alot of learning, failure, and love. No matter what, love and hate. Both ends of the spectrum. I'm glad to say I've made it to year number 24. What a crazy road it's been. I wonder what the next 24 years will be like. Wow I'll be 48 then. I wonder what will happen. I have a feeling it's gonna be magical and insanely awesome.

I'm listening to IAMX's "After Every Party I Die". Literally, I hope that doesn't happen. Metaphorically, I will probably be incoherent by the time the clock hits four in the morning. For now, it's rapture and IAMX and insomnia. My mind wont rest.

When two great forces come together...

They are called Jeff Buckley & Gary Lucas. I'm sitting here listening to "How Long Will It Take" off their "Songs To No One 1991-1992" album. Last.fm is the best for finding songs you haven't heard in a long while. I remember when I first heard it. I was living in Northridge at the time, sitting with two friends, Tommy and Eric, looking at the black and white picture of Buckley and Lucas, and Tommy made some comment about how Eric resembled Buckley because of his hair and eyes in his Chico school ID. I remember hearing it and not understanding what this beautiful elaborate voice was singing. The computer didn't do it justice. I had no explanation of what I was hearing and was being blown away. It had an old 1950s feel I haven't heard since I flipped over to K-Earth 101 last. There's just something beautiful and nostalgic to the era of sound and the singularity of the guitar. There's just something alot more bare and simple that you don't find in the mainstream. Every stream of music has its utility and serves a creative purpose. But unlike the overly computerized songs on the radio, there's that intimacy that you can only get from the bare plucking of notes to a set of strings. Lucas' guitar compliments Buckley's young and vulnerable voice. Wow. Buckley brings out a lot in me. A flood of memories always take over my mind. No matter what music always brings memories to my mind.

So, for now, I think I'll switch to listening to MUSE to provide other types of memories...I just downloaded "Absolution" and "Black Holes and Revelations". Yay!

The Avett Brothers...

Are a 3-piece "grunge-grass" band who I've been listening to for about 4 or 5 years now. They were in Paste Magazine last month or the month before that, so now they're getting bigger. I don't know any other band like them. I really like the albums "The Gleam" and "Emotionalism". They seem to capture my life in their songs. That's how you know it's good music and good people behind the music. They've lived life in all its glory and shame. Being human is hard. Being a lover and friend and family member is even harder. It's easy to not get involved in life or with people, but what kind of life is that? To quote the Avett Brothers, "Am I growing backwards with time?" I wonder what it will be like when I'm 30, 40, 50...80? Will I still be concerned with all of this? Will my lovers and friends and family still be with me? Will their memory continue? Will it all matter? Does it all matter? The pain? The joy? Those little moments of truth are what molds us little people into big people with opinions. What are the little moments worth? They sure do feel like they're worth alot when your heart-deep in shit or in love.

Photo credits belong to Myspace.com/theavettbrothers (thanks guys)

Lyrics to "Find My Love" By The Avett Brothers

What makes it easy to treat people bad?
Some things you say and you can't take 'em back
What makes it easy to run from the past,
Like a child runs from the dark?
Which is the poison and which is the wine?
The scent and the colors are so much alike
And how much of each will it take to decide,
When your at the table alone?
Where do you go when it's perfectly clear?
You might find your way but you won't find it here
What makes it easy to sound so sincere,
When you know that you don't care?
Love gets lost
Love gets lost
Find my love
Find my love

How can you tell when goodbye means goodbye
Not just for now, for the rest of you life
How can you stand there with love in you eyes
And still be walking away
Love gets lost
Love gets lost
Find my love
Find my love
Find my love
Find my love

DISCOTHEQUE by NITRUS, MFG at Club 740

FRIDAY NITE AUGUST 14TH!

talent
TROUBLE AND BASS CREW ( DROP THE LIME + THE CAPTAIN + STAR EYES) from NYC, BOY 8 BIT, DESTRUCTO

info
TROUBLE AND BASS CREW BOY 8 BIT DESTRUCTO + MORE TBA NITRUS & MFG bring you a new FRIDAY NIGHT weekly in Downtown Los Angeles.
DISCOTHEQUE will offer 2 unique dance areas.

age
21+
capacity
1000
doors open
10:00PM PST
will call closes
02:00AM PST
remember to bring
Dancing shoes
items not allowed
Cargo shorts

Info taken from: http://discothequeparty.com/ and http://fla.vor.us.com/

Dream Sayonara La Loca Lohan

Last night I had a dream that I was driving on a 405 onramp, it was dark out, either night time or dusk, and I looked in my rear view mirror or I turned around and saw Lindsay Lohan, this party girl actress celebrity Perez Hilton rag mag chick, chasing me down. She had a small, weak, and not very intimidating knife and had this crazy “I’ll get you!” face. Red hair and everything. Kind of dark red. She was chasing me down but I wasn’t scared. I was just trying to get away from her. Like, “Who does this bitch think she is? What is she doing? Why is she trying to hunt me down? What did I do wrong? I musta really pissed her off.” I don’t know why I dreamt this and out of all people, why Lindsay Lohan? What a selfish bitch she must be to be taking over peoples dreams like that. LOL Let’s see if Ms. Cokehan likes it if I rode her down. WAIT. She might like that. Nevermind.
…
I think it was either before the Lindsay incident or after, my dream sequences get mixed up, but my friends Amanda and Ric were side by side. It might be my memory seeing a photo of them two together or something and it popped up in my dream. But they were saying something or not saying something to me, I can’t remember hearing it or seeing their lips move. But my brain says it wants to vaguely remember that, although I don’t know the accuracy of said memory. Anyways, nothing negative in this other sequence.

I love when I have dreams cause I channel the craziest shit.

Crazy ass photo courtesy of Hollyscoop.com

HARD SUMMER! (was an epic fail.)

these are some of the acts i would have seen hadn't the police and fire marshall ruined it all....

HARD STAGE
8:00 BUSY P
9:00 CRYSTAL CASTLES
9:55 CHROMEO
11:00 UNDERWORLD
12:30 CROOKERS
1:30 THE BLOODY BEETROOTS
2:30 TIGA
3:15 SEBASTIAN
CHANGEOVERS DESTRUCTO